I dont know what to do, things just don't feel normal anymore. Can you guys help? Kinda long..?
My husband joined the military, he went threw basic and I wrote to him almost everyday. Then tech school started and he met a female, long story short wen he finally came home from school He told me he wanted a divorce and wouldn't even give me a chance he said no to consoling and church and never really gave me a real reason for wanting to throw away 7 years for someone he only knew for 2 months. Well we were "broken up" for about 3 months, and in this time I sent him E-mails telling him how much I loved him, How much I miss him, etc. But he had this female sleep over at his dads house with him, they went everywhere together, they were constantly up each others butts. He was stationed in VA and moved all the way over there without me, He then tells me to come out and visit and then we both agree that the passed is the passed and we will both move on. So I get to VA , after an 8 hour flight ,when I get to the airport he doesn't even hug me, we go to the beach and I told him I was tired "because it was an overnight flight" and I could not sleep at all. It was all downhill from there, he says I'm bitching and I said, I didn't know me telling you how I felt was bitching, well anyways I was there for 2 weeks and in that time we fought almost everyday because he told me he was not talking to that female he met at tech school, but low and behold I find about 15 pictures of her saved on his phone and NO pictures of me on his phone. I went online and checked his AT&T bill and I noticed about 250 text messages in a week span, to a friend he no longer talks to, so I click on the name and of course this other females number is the one he hid under his old friends name. I found a letter in his car which he immediately pulled over wen we were driving to take it away from me before I could read it and threw it out the window. I was so mad! He claims he never cheated on me, and I constantly ask then why do you keep doing things that make you look so guilty?... Needless to say because of that fight he sent me home on the next flight and I told him we were done.... the next day I'm home and I get a long ass apology note from him and he sent flowers to my house, then he tells me he wants me to come back to VA so we can "really" work things out this time... So Now I'm here in VA, and I just feel like were more friends then husband and wife. I don't know how to explain it, I feel like he's not trying to show me that he cares about me or anything. I mean as soon as I got here I did everything for him, cleaned his house, cooked for him and sucked his d!ck. I do all of this everyday. But instead of feeling closer to him I just feel like his b!tch or something. I don't know what to do guys, I do love him but ever since all this crap happened I just feel like I cant trust him and that he is just to stupid to try and win my trust back. I just need some advice. It's just hard I guess, we met wen I was 16 he was 17 and we got married wen we were both 22. He is the only guy I have ever even held hands with, we were each others first everything. that's why this is so difficult I have never been with anyone else..
Marriage & Divorce - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
He cheated. What more is there to say? Cheating is a deal breaker for me. If it isn't for you - then you both need to attend some marital therapy.
2 :
You know what you need to do.... He is using you girl.. so just dont respond anymore to him, thats just bullsh**
3 :
You got married WAY too young, didn't you?. Let the divorce happen, you can't stop it no matter what. It's for the best in the long run.
4 :
I guess it is time to sit down and talk, not fight. You need to find out if there is any reason for you to be there. You know what he was doing while you waited for him, but he just doesn't think he did anything against his wedding vows. I think the first thing I would stop is sucking his d!ck and tell him that until you see a counselor that all the nice things you do for him will be stopping until he can start acting like he wants you there. If he won't then time to think about going back home and leaving him with his girlfriend.
5 :
To be honest your situation is unique to you because it evolves you, but if you go and see a counselor who've heard this happen thousands of times you will come to the conclusion that it's time to move on and let him have the regrets later when he wakes up out of dream land and realizes what he had is gone and has moved on. My ex threw away almost 10 years for 2-3 months of knowing another guy (loser might I add). 10 years! I sought counseling to help me understand since it made no sense. Counselor broke it down step by step. I shut down the marriage. Currently I'm remarried very happily. My ex...had a kid for that loser, he's a dead beat still, her life is a train wreck and she told me she wish she could go back in time and she is full of regret now. when I look back my pain was temporary...but she has to live with the regret of her decision every time she looks at her kid, sees the loser, whenever my birthday passes by, whenever she looks at our wedding pics I said she could keep and I didn't want...etc You will be fine, but i'm afraid it's time to let him go and take care of yourself for awhile to rebuild yourself and move on.
6 :
My opinion is get this man out of your life as quickly as possible. I promise you, he will cheat again and again and again. I don't want to hurt you but its possible that he's come back to you because this other woman has dumped him. You deserve better. It is very hard to let go of a bad relationship, but if you're brave enough to make the break you will leave yourself free to heal and start enjoying life with peace of mind, and probably you will meet a much more honest and loyal man in the future and will wonder how you put up with this horrible man for so long.
Title : I dont know what to do, things just don't feel normal anymore. Can you guys help? Kinda long..
Description : I dont know what to do, things just don't feel normal anymore. Can you guys help? Kinda long..? My husband joined the military, he went...