A Pandora's box on South India

A Pandora's box on South India!?

Traveling to Kerala May 17-30, staying in Cochin (19-25) and Kovalam (25-30). I have a ton of questions. Please use the number to indicate which question you are addressing. These are in totally random order. Thanks to you all in advance! 1) I am an African-American woman with short hair (shorter than President Obama's). Should I expect a big fuss about my hair? 2) Is there a beach anywhere in the south where I could wear a bikini? We want to do a semi photo shoot, lol. And I'd love to come back with a nice tan. 3) What is the best way to get from Kochi/Cochin to Trivandrum? We don't want to make it a flight leg. How long woud each method take? And how much would each cost? 4) I am going to be on my period from about the 19-24, part of which I planned to do a 3 day/2 night houseboat. Any advice? 5) Any advice on which backwaters are best? Allepey? Kumarakoam? 6) I will need something to wear to a wedding for me and my boyfriend. What's the best way to go about getting a sari? What do I get for my boyfriend? 7) On my Western days, I had planned to wear a short-sleeve waist-length t-shirt and skinny jeans. Will this be culturally offensive? I have read that Indians in all regions except Goa are rather sensitive about fitted clothing, but the weather's going to be muggy and I want to be comfy. 8) Where can I go to meet Portuguese-speakers? I know that the Portuguese have their imprint at Mattancheri, but where are the P-speaking people?! I'd love to converse in Portuguese in India. 9) I've seen advice about souvenirs, but I don't feel that many of them are practical. Aside from fabric and candy, I haven't read recommendations for items that people can use and therefore appreciate. How about umbrellas? I will be there on the verge of rainy season. Jewelry? Oils? Rugs? 10) About how much should we budget for local transportation? We only have 6 full days in Kochi, 4 full days is Trivandrum/Kovalam. Oh yeah, I also want to go to Kanyakumari in those four days. Tips? 11) This is perhaps most important. What wedding gift do I get? The bride is my college roommate, and she'll be headed to med school after the honeymoon. The groom is a software engineer. They will live in the U.S. 12) In general, how much would you budget for this trip? We plan to be super active, and I'm a shoe addict. We are buying tix May 1 because the prices have been in free fall for the last few weeks, but we don't want to wait until it's too late to ship them. Right now, it's looking like tix are going to be $800 round-trip, and we've budgeted $500 for budget homestays (Saj Home in Kochi, and Greenhouse Apartments in Kovalam). We've got our visas locked in. Are we doing ok? How much should we budget for other things? I'll add more if I think of anything else.Thanks!