I'm I being a selfish friend??? you be the judge?
My friends that I hooked up are getting married after 3 years and a 2 year old baby. I am very happy for them; however they set a date that was 30 days after they told everyone. they live in Long Beach and the wedding ceremony is going to be in Santa Barbara at the court house and then I think they are having a small reception. SB is about 2 hours away flying and about 7 hour away if driving. The date is set for 2/6 which is in a couple of days. As you know times are hard for everyone, I was trying to decide if I was going to do it or not. I did take the day off. last month was really hard for me. My mom was in the hospital for a week. I take care of my mom, so it was a very difficult time for me. Not to mention a pile of bill that popped up. It's just a bad time for me. My job has gotten more demanding and when ever I take time off of work I don't get paid because I don't have vacation time. My friend says it really would mean a lot for me to come and she really wants me no NEEDS me there. I do want to go but It's just a bad time. I was just down in long beach to visit them last month. I don't want her to think I'm being selfish if I don't come and I don't want to lose her friendship. I know this is a special time for her but I don't know what to do. I can't get anyone to ride with me down there. A flight is too expensive. Everything is just looking bad for me to go out there. I could do it but I will be putting my job in jepordy. Spending money I don't have and leaving my reasponsibility to care for my mother on my sister. What would you do. would you bite the bullet and go or tell her you just can't do it?
Friends - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I dont even need to read the entie story to answer this (and who would). Your right and you don't have to go if you dont want to, can't afford to or can't get a day off. See what u need to remeber is that if you go and lose ur job or something else bad happens, LIFE GOES ON. If you dont go guess what, LIFE GOES ON. I know its not the same but there are Camera's and phones that could help u keep in touch DUH!
2 :
Personally i do not think you are being selfish...just responsible adn caring for your mother. Let your freind know you can't do it and let her know its too hard.. she isn;'t gonna be the one paying your bills or taking care of your mom if stuff starts falling apart..plus it seem s like you ahve ben friends for a long time so she might get a little mad but she should understatd and if she wants too end your friendship then thats stupid..wat kind of friend does that
3 :
In some situations you need to be concerned with yourself and yourself only. If taking this day off is really going to affect you that way then you need to do what is best for you and your life which is to stay and make that money... The party will still go on with out you I'm sure. And if they really are your friends they will understand that you just can't afford it. If they say you have to be there then you need to tell them that if thats the case, they need to pay for your fare because you just can't make it. Plus look at it this way... They already have a kid so technically that defeats the purpose of getting married if I'm correct. I mean they would be the selfish ones to make you feel bad for not going... they are already parents and probably a live in husband and wife already so getting married is pretty much just putting it on paper. I know that may sound wrong but a lot of people think this way... Just do what is best for you... you're friends aren't going to pay your bill for you are they?
4 :
Personally I do not think you are being selfish. You cannot help the situations around you. You can't jeopardize your job. Especially if you have to care for not only yourself, but your mother and sister. Last year, I had three friends getting married. Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend the third wedding because my papaw was very sick. I had to make the decision of attending the wedding or staying by my grandfather on his deathbed. I stayed obviously. If she's really your friend, she will understand. You are not being selfish, you're thinking of your friendship, your job and your mother and sister - not yourself! Now if you were thinking, "well, you should change your date and move the wedding to somewhere closer to where I live" then that would be a bit selfish. But that's not the case, lol. Good luck and I'm sure she will understand whatever decision you make! Samantha Jo~
5 :
I would explain to the friend why you cannot go. She is your friend and should understand. You are not being selfish, you are being responsible. Talk to her and explain it.
6 :
I would just call her and tell her look I really want to go but it is just to hard to do with my job and my mom. Just tell her and tell her how you feel and what is happening. I think she would understand. The way the economy is today that a lot of people are struggling and it's not possible.
Title : I'm I being a selfish friend??? you be the judge
Description : I'm I being a selfish friend??? you be the judge? My friends that I hooked up are getting married after 3 years and a 2 year old baby....